Thursday, April 22, 2010

todayi cud barely sit thru drawing
and thenicame homeand slept and a spookydream anda man chainsawed my legs open and it was okay and i woke up and ifelt fine and i went to art history and did a bad homework assignment and i thought more pros for suicide which is wierd and then i wondered if look the same when im thinking those thots compared to normal ones because that wouldmean i look angryand wierd all the time. I talkedreally loud in thecomputer lab and on theway home i walked directlyinto a car almost andthen talkedyelled at myself and raninto a sumpeple who just waitedto crossthe street

thewholetime i didnt havemy fone or anything i just had a pen so i wud be fuckedif the door wasnt'broken/open but
im reallyreally embarrassed/ashamed of myself today
i thinkthats because i shud be

and i dont want to go to writing
andidont want to really see anybody ever again
and iam so on edge
iwant good feelingsback so bad



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